Anyway, aside from that awesome opening statement which sums up how I feel ENTIRELY, just thought I'd come on here and ramble about anything and everything that comes to my mind. Which admittedly is a lot, since my mind works like I do - all over the freaking place.
But we shall prevail.
First thing, SCHOOL. BLERCH. 'Scuse me while I go throw up, because even the MERE thought of the place is making me queasy. But to be precise, there are three things that are bugging me right now.
Alone? I can cope. Barely.
All together? -goes to drown self in a pool to prevent them doing it for her-
Together, they terrify me. Now I'm sure most of you know, if you can read this, that I'm seriously unorganised. I could loose something in an prison cell, a la End of the Line. I cannot keep track of anything, whether it be a date, a time or an essay or a piece of coursework. It is so hard for me though - I'm not like Jasia or Eamerica. They can keep track of things without even intending to, and I just look at them and think...."If only..." It sucks being the disorganised one, I can tell you. You loose things left right and centre,a and you don't even remember HAVING them. And I can be honest, I have gone to ASSEMBLIES and people SWEAR up and down that I have been there, and listened to the same information and I swear to GOD, I don't remember a DAMN thing
(But I can be also Misled. Quite drastically - Rafrica tells me I went to the ASSEMBLY on Tuesday, and through Working My Day Backwards, I worked out that I wasn't. I went to print off my work for French in the Maths ICT room. So I wasn't there and SHE made me PANIC for no reason whatsoever, and there was me thinking I was going MAD. Still, it proves the power of subliminal pressures.)
At uni and in Sixth Form, I am going to be wetting my pants with all my disorganisation - if the teachers don't make me do it first. I swear, I am going to invest in a diary like my Mothers - it's big and it can keep track of EVERYTHING from book to notebooks, to appointments and deadlines for key pieces of work. Lord, as soon as I get my first payment for EMA, I am investing in Notebooks, Files, Ringbinders, Plastic Wallets, Pens and Pencils, and Writing Equipment and THAT DIARY!
But that is drifting off track.
HOMEWORK is riding my ass not quite as badly as the other two. I mean, teachers seems to have finally gotten it into their thick heads that we HAVE OTHER SUBJECTS and THEREFORE CANNOT DEVOTE ALL OUR TIME TO ONE FUCKING SUBJECT! Ahem. But seriously, it is like -mental block- when it comes to some teachers and the idea that you take more than one subject.
I would actually like to SLEEP some time in NINETY HOURS before I DIE of EXHAUSTION and SLEEP DEPRIVATION!
But, you know, to some teachers that's like....a secondary thought. Seriously.
COURSEWORK.....-barfs- EWWW. Gross. I hate coursework to the end of existence. It's VILE. And EVIL and it haunts my DREAMS turning them into NIGHTMARES. I sitll have Business, and Prep for Working Life to sort out but at least that's not too bad. I mean, prep for working life is done in about ten minutes, and as for Business...I'll figure something out. At least, I can do that.
I always do.
But yeah. Coursework is not as bad as I thought it was - I can grow to accept it as a part of my life that I really really HATE and would like to have removed but cannot do so at the current time. I'll get over it. Someday.
EXAMS. Ooh yes. The BIG thing in my life at the moment. It's Easter right now, which means it's the reprieve. The Governor's Call to the Execution Chamber. Shame that I know it won't stick and in about two week's I'm back on the Table being given the injection and the chances of surviving it are onei n a billion million.
I hope I make those odds.
And as for the morons who claim the exams are getting easier, I dare you to sit the same level most students have to sit. I DARE YOU. And if you get A*s across the board, then well done. Take it and make your claim. If you don't SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!
I just need a time and a place where all of this doesn't occur and I can just...LIVE not SURVIVE which is all I seem to be doing at the moment.
I'll be back later, I gots some things to post, so I have to be.