January 4th, 2010

Tattoo

Before The Christmas Hols, I Took These Out Of The Daily Mail

Read this –

Last week I told you about the group of students refused a bottle of wine and a packet of candles for a birthday cake for a party by the Warwick branch of M&S because only five out of six could prove they were over eighteen.

It gets siller.

Peter O’Brien writes to tell me that his daughter and her partner, both over the age of eighteen, were told they could not buy a bottle of vanilla essence from Waitrose in Buxton, Derbyshire because only one of them had proof of identity. Vanilla Essence has apparently one percent alcohol in it, and each bottle contains enough to fill about one to two thimbles.

But as far as the cake police are concerned you just can’t be too careful.

There was also this,

“Back in 2005, I wrote a spoof account of the Battle of Trafalgar, imagining it being fought under modern elf’n’safety conditions.

It was inspired by a newspaper photograph of an actor playing Nelson in a 200th anniversary re-enactment being forced to wear a life jacket over his 19th Century admiral’s uniform and has been doing the rounds on the internet ever since.

At the time, it was supposed to be a joke. Little did I imagine that four short year later, the Royal Navy would refuse to rescues a couple of British hostages hijacked at sea off Somalia because someone might get hurt.

Or than any Somali pirate wounded or captured would be entitled to seek asylum in Britain and could sue for damages under the ‘Human Rites Act’

Sometimes, even I can’t make it up.”

Guess what? Inflation is below zero, but the council tax is up three percent.

A band D house which pays around £1400 per year will now be expected to pay £1500 a year, but lovely government says that pensioners and other low in come families included in the general population were in the rise.

But get this – a typical band D house in the UK, in 1997, paid just £688 per year in Council Tax. Now it’s risen to over 110% more to £1414 per year.

I dunno about you, but Daniel Martin and I seem to believe it’s extortionate.

For a person of pensionable age in a single occupancy house it’s £96 pounds per week For a married couple it’s about £153 per week. For a married couple that’s just under a full weeks pension and for a single person it’s about one week, three days. Completely. Gone. Can’t use that money for anything else. If you need to pay rent, that can be hundreds of pounds when you throw in water, electricity, food, clothing and travel costs.

Our government?

Apparently believes in extorting the most out of the elderly and the poor.

And another round – More than 1,000 bankers are paid more than £1 million per year but we have no idea who because the government won’t make the banks name and shame. Instead, the banks must tell how many of their staff receives such monies, but won’t be required to name names.

Lucky for them, or I’d be demanding some of that back in my tax cuts when I’m older.

And oh yes, here we go again – “Aristocrat who plundered £1.6 million to pay for gold clubs, fine wines and school fees escapes prison.”

JOY!

The Honourable Jonathan Davies, 65, plundered one point six million from the fund set up by his grandfather. The charity ,which helped a host of causes including caring for Bosnian War orphans, has collapsed because of his Dishonesty.

At Southwark Crown court yesterday, Judge James Wadsworth sentenced the former investment banker to two years in jail but suspended the term for two years. The judge told Davies, who admitted ten counts of theft, he could take the exceptional course because of his poor health, his guilty pleas and the fact it was unlikely he would commit another offence of dishonesty.

Davies is bankrupt and will not have to repay a penny.

And just to round of a fantastic day in the news – A trusted uncle stole £315,000 from the charity of bladerunner girl. It was, basically, a charity set up to help her live her life after she lost arms and legs to meningitis and got them replaced with the epically awesome bladerunner systems Paralympics athletes use since the NHS ones were crap.

Excellent.

There’s nothing better in the world than the smell of fresh bastard robbing from the ill, the poor and the young.  


no, donna tardis, TIMELORD, doctor who

My List of the FLORIDA TRIP!

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Important Milestones:
  1. Passport
  2. Driving License
  3. NUS card + ID card
  4. Plane Ticket
  5. Digital Camera
  6. Photo Album

All Together Now, I'm....

...Keeping It Clean:

Shampoo
Conditioner
Shower Gel
Toothbrush
Toothpaste
Mouthwash

Dental Floss
Flannel
Towel
Deodorant
Anti-humidity hair stuff


...Keeping It Protected

Suncream
Aftersun
Bug Repellent
Bug Bite Zapper
Sanitary Towels
Sanitary Bags
Sunglasses


...Keeping It Groomed

Hairbrush
Hairbands
Hair clips and grips


...Keeping It Fashionable

Light jumpers/cardigans
Light Jacket
T-Shirts
Shirts
Vest Tops
Long shorts
Jeans


...Keeping It Alive

Anti-Histamines
Inhalers
Moisturiser
Hydrocortisone cream
Pain relief
E-45 cream


...Keeping It Together

Document Wallet
Handbag
Purse
Jewellery Roll
Make Up Bag
Wash Bag
Carry On Case
Suitcase


...Keeping It Bling


Necklaces
Bangles
Bracelets
Rings
Earrings


...Keeping It Decent


Knickers
Bras
Socks

...Keeping It Moving


Sandals
Shoes
Boots
Flipflops


...Keeping It Entertaining

Gummy Headphones x 2
Noise Cancelling Headphones
New CDs/Music
New mp3
Case for mp3
American Plug
USB Mains Charger
Digital Camera
Books
Notebook
Pens



...Keeping It Pretty

Perfume
Lip gloss/ lipstick
Blusher
Concealor
Toner
Cleanser
Cotton Wool Pads/Cotton Buds


...Keeping It Sleeping


Pyjamas
Oversized T-Shirt
Jogging Bottoms
Hoodie


...Keeping It Legal


Passport
Plane Ticket
Driving Lisence
NUS Card + Identity
Passport and DL pictures


...Keeping It Communicating

Postcards
Mobile phone upgrade/camel switch


...Keeping it Swimming

Sarong
Swimsuit